A New Year's resolution

I resolve to carefully choose words and phrases I use.  First, I want to honor and encourage those with whom I communicate--like Sue.  And, I want to subtly teach some about our language to you and others who might be interested.  We all need to communicate better.  On the emotional side, we need to choose language that builds up and encourages.  On the technical side, we need to know about and avoid poor grammar.  Make this one of your resolutions as well.  Our Bob Priddy offers us our first lesson in this humorous piece:

--clyde

To all my Learfield friends:

Those of us whose words are made public every day through our on-air programs or through our time-consuming postings on the web await the annual end-of-the-year compilations of words and phrases that have grown to equal the sound of fingernails on blackboards.

(Having said that, it might be instructive to our younger staff members to tell them that blackboardswere primitive non-electronic communications devices usually found in schools and company meeting rooms that were marked upon by a substance we called "chalk." They were usually black or green and were made of naturally-occurring materials. They have since been replaced by white-boards made of a plastic material that is written on by non-permanent liquid dispensed by plastic hand-held instruments tipped with felt, which is---interesting in this high-tech era--the oldest form of fabric known to humankind (dating back to at least 6,500 CE according to evidence found in Turkey).

We seem to have gone astray from our original discussion.

Since many of the words or phrases are words or phrases that creep into our own language and therefore trash-up our speech, leaving us too often to sound more like sloganeering babblers, the News Director of the Missourinet feels it would do us all well to listen to the comments from two important sources and either eliminate this year's list of dirty words or dirty phrases from our own speech and writing and, perhaps, from our own walls, web pages, and programs.

We turn to our first group of word critics: The National Association of Editorial Writers.  Writers in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and the Kansas City Star offices have recently commented on these words and phrases. Here is a compilation of their comments---which are largely the comments of the NCEW reviewers (with occasional additional editorial comments from the Missourinet News Director)

ISSUES AND CHALLENGES--No one has problems anymore. We have "issues." Likewise we have "challenges." Why isn't that a problem?

FAITH-BASED--Almost 100 percent of the time this phrase is used,the user means "religious," and they should just suck it up and use the real term.

PLANS GOING FORWARD--Let's admit that's redundant. All plans are about the future. It's assumed you plan to go forward, not backward.

PERFECT STORM--A wretched phrase now attached to every storm under the clear blue sky.

AT THE END OF THE DAY--At the end of the day, all I'm looking for is a good martini.

PROACTIVE--Needs to be retroactively banished from the language.

INPUT, PRIORITIZE, BUZZ, BUZZ WORDS, TIME WILL TELL--All are banned in Detroit, says the editorial page director of the Detroit Free Press. (And, the Missourinet News Director notes, should be banned in all Learfield offices and newsrooms, too.)

CLOSURE--An appalling word that crept out from the woodwork of psychobabble where it squats, poisoning the language, above all, in journalism.

NOUN-VERBS: Visioning, gifting, impacting, tasked. We PLAN. We do not "vision." We GIVE. We don't "gift" (would you cringe if Christmas was nothing more than gift-gifting?). People are AFFECTED. They are not "impacted" (let's leave "impacted" to people like dentists who have to deal with wisdom teeth). We are ASSIGNED tasks. (Somehow, being tasked a task seems pretty silly, doesn't it?)

PARENTING--Isn't it a shape that people don't raise their children anymore? Instead,too many have decided to "parent" them. Someday if the corruption of nouns continues we might wake up and discover we're shoeing instead of walking or chairing instead of sitting.

WEATHER EVENT and its cousin SALE EVENT. (I plan to go to the after-Christmas Sale Event unless a Weather Event keeps me off the streets. Would somebody from the Department of Redundancy Department please teach the highly-acclaimed television meteorologists that weather IS an event and remind sales folks that having a sale IS an event? Please?).

GROW THE ECONOMY---Who began to describe economies and businesses ("Grow Learfield") as if they were biological entities? You grow your lawn. You expand the economy or your business. (If you follow the "grow the....." language philosophy, what would you therefore logically call blowing up a balloon? Good taste mandates that I leave the answer to you.)

RE-MEDIATE--If you mean to improve or remedy (or fix) something, why not just say so?

(Anyone who responds to all of this with, "It is what it is, Dude, you betcha," needs to be given a free anvil ride on the Missouri River)

Now we move on to the good folks at Lake Superior State University who compile a list every year of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-use and General Uselessness. This program has been going on since the end of 1975 and the school's PR office accumulates thousands of nominations each year. Here are this year's "winners," straight from the University's PR department, with comments from some of the nominators:

Environmental buzzwords are getting the axe this year.
"Green" and "going green" received the most nominations.

GREEN – The ubiquitous 'Green' and all of its variables, such as 'going green,' 'building green,' 'greening,' 'green technology,' 'green solutions' and more, drew the most attention from those who sent in nominations this year.

"This phrase makes me go green every time I hear it." Danielle Brunin, Lawrence, Kansas.

"I'm all for being environmentally responsible, but this 'green' needs to be nipped in the bud." Valerie Gilson, Gales Ferry, Conn.

"Companies are less 'green' than ever, advertising the fact they are 'green.' Is anyone buying this nonsense?" Mark Etchason, Denver, Colo.

"If something is good for the environment, just say so. As Kermit would say, 'It isn't easy being green.'" Kevin Sherlock, Hiawatha, Iowa.

"If I see one more corporation declare itself 'green,' I'm going to start burning tires in my backyard." Ed Hardiman, Bristow, Va.

"This spawned 'green solutions,' 'green technology,' and the horrible use of the word as a verb, as in, 'We really need to think about greening our office.'" Mike McDermott, Philadelphia, Penn.

CARBON FOOTPRINT or CARBON OFFSETTING – "It is now considered fashionable for everyone, tree hugger or lumberjack alike, to pay money to questionable companies to 'offset' their own 'carbon footprint.' What a scam! Get rid of it immediately!" Ginger Hunt, London, England.

Mike of Chicago says that when he hears the phrase 'carbon footprint,' "I envision microscopic impressions on the surface of the earth where an atom of carbon forgot to wear its shoes."

Christy Loop of Woodbridge, Va., says that 'leaving a carbon footprint' has become the new 'politically incorrect.' "How can we not, in one way or another, affect our natural environment?"

Presidential election years are always ripe for language abuse. This year, the electorate grew weary of 'mavericks' and 'super delegates.' As Michael W. Casby of Haslett, Mich. said, when he suggested banning all of the candidates' names, "Come on, it's been another too-long campaign season."

MAVERICK – "The constant repetition of this word for months before the US election diluted whatever meaning it previously had. Even the comic offshoot 'mavericky' was terribly overused. A minimum five-year banishment of both words is suggested so they will not be available during the next federal election." Matthew Mattila, Green Bay, Wisc.

"You know it's time to banish this word when even the Maverick family, who descended from the rancher who inspired the term, says it's being mis-used." Scott Urbanowski, Kentwood, Mich.

"I'm a maverick, he's a maverick, wouldn't you like to be a maverick, too?" Michael Burke, Silver Spring, Md.

FIRST DUDE – "Skateboard English is not an appropriate way to refer to the spouse of a high-ranking public official." Paul Ruschmann, Canton, Mich.

Of course, the economy couldn't escape the list this year.

BAILOUT – "Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout." Ben Green, State College, Penn.

"Is it a loan? Is it a purchase of assets by the government? Is it a gift made by the taxpayers?" Dave Gill, Traverse City, Mich.

"Now it seems as though every sector of the economy wants a bailout. Unfortunately, ordinary workers can't qualify." Tony, McLeansville, NC.

"Don't we love how Capitol Hill will bailout Wall Street, but not Main Street"? Derrick Chamberlain, Midland, Mich.

Speaking of Wall Street and Main Street…

WALL STREET/MAIN STREET – "When this little dyad first came into use at the start of the financial crisis, I thought it was a clever use of parallelism. But it's simply over-used. No 'serious' discussion of the crisis can take place without some political figure lamenting the fact that the trouble on Wall Street is affecting 'folks' on Main Street." Charles Harrison, Aiken, SC.

"The recent and continuing financial failings are not limited to 'Wall Street,' nor should one paint business, consumers, and small investors as 'Main Street.' Topeka (where I work), and Lawrence (where I live), Kansas, have no named 'Main Street.' How tiresome." Kent McAnally, Topeka, KS.

"I am so tired of hearing about everything affecting 'Main Street.' I know that with the 'Wall Street' collapse, the comparison is convenient, but really, let's find another way to talk about everyman or the middle class, or even, heaven forbid, 'Joe the Plumber.'" Stacey, Knoxville, Tenn.

Internet and texting blues
-MONKEY – "Especially on the Internet, many people seem to think they can make any boring name sound more attractive just by adding the word 'monkey' to it. Do a search to find the latest. It is no longer funny." Rogier Landman, Somerville, Mass.

<3 – Supposed to resemble a heart, or stand for the word 'love.' Used when sending those important text messages to loved ones. "Just say the word instead of making me turn my head sideways and wondering what 'less than three' means." Andrea Estrada, Chicago.

Overuse in news and entertainment

ICON or ICONIC – Overused, especially among entertainers and in entertainment news, according to Robyn Yates of Dallas, who says that "every actor, actress and entertainment magazine show overuses this." One of the most-nominated words of the year.

"Everyone and everything cannot be 'iconic.' Can't we switch to 'legendary' or 'famous for'? In our entertainment-driven culture, it seems everyone in show business is 'iconic' for some reason or another." John Flood, Bray, Wicklow, Ireland.

"It's becoming the new 'awesome' - overused to the point where everything from a fast-food restaurant chain to celebrities is 'iconic.'" Jodi Gill, New Berlin, Wisc.

"Just because a writer recognizes something does not make it an icon (a visual symbol or representation which inspires worship or veneration) or iconic. It just means that the writer has seen it before." Brian Murphy, Fairfield, Conn.

GAME CHANGER – "It's game OVER for this cliché, which gets overused in the news media, political arenas and in business." Cynthia, Mt. Pleasant, Mich.

STAYCATION – "Occurrences of this word are going up with gas prices.'Vacation' does not mean 'travel,' nor does travel always involve vacation. Let's send this word on a slow boat to nowhere." Dan Muldoon, Omaha, Neb.

"The cost of petrol forces many families to curtail their summer voyages and a new word has sprung, idiotic and rootless..." Michele Mooney, Los Angeles, Calif.

DESPERATE SEARCH – "Every time the news can't find something intelligent to report, they start on a 'desperate search' for someone, somewhere." Rick A. Hyatt, Saratoga, Wyo.

NOT SO MUCH – "I wish that the phrase was used not so much," says Tom Benson of Milwaukee, who notes that it is used widely in news media, especially in sports, i.e. 'The Gophers have a shot at the playoffs; the Chipmunks, not so much.'

"Casual language usage is acceptable. 'Not so much?' Not so much." David Hollis, Hubbardsville, NY.

"Do I like concise writing? Yes. Do I like verbose clichés? Not so much." David W. Downing, St. Paul, Minn.

"A favorite of snarky critics and bloggers." Jeff Baenen, Minneapolis, Minn.

WINNER OF FIVE NOMINATIONS – "It hasn't won an Academy Award yet. It has only been NOMINATED!" John Bohenek, Abilene, Tex.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN – Nominated by Kathleen Brosemer of Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., for "general overuse and meaninglessness. When is it not 'that time of year again?' From Valentine's sales to year-end charity letters, invitations to summer picnics and Christmas parties, it's 'that time' of year again. Just get to the point of the solicitation, invitation, and newsletter and cut out six useless and annoying words."

Lake Superior State University is located in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, along the U.S./Canada international border. With an enrollment of about 3,000 students, LSSU offers an undergraduate experience that features small classes, individual attention and faculty/student research opportunities that are not always readily available at larger schools. LSSU students choose from a blend of liberal and technical studies in more than 45 areas. Find out more at lssu.edu.

And now the Missourinet News Director concludes with the simple observation: God save us from all of those English-only advocates. Would that they were as zealous about passing English-abuse laws as they are about passing English-only laws. But, then again, I've heard a lot of these people speak. They should be grateful the Fifth Amendment protects them from self-incrimination should they ever be accused of abusing the official language.

Yours for greater vigilance in writing, speaking, and thinking,

Bob Priddy, News Director

The Missourinet.

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